Reflux?

Faye has been getting crabby/crabbier. She acts like she is in pain and spits up a lot. Since birth, she has been spitting up and gulping it back down, she started spitting up and having it come out of her mouth and nose just after we got her home. She cannot be laid down less than 30 minutes after a feeding and she cannot stay laying down less than an hour after feeding or she will spit up. Night time feedings last almost 2 hours because she will eat from one side and by the time her belly feels well enough, she's ready to eat from the other and than it's another hour before I can lay her down. I feel exhausted. I'm getting very little sleep because of it. She wakes up 1-2 hours after each time she is laid down to go back to sleep and than it's another 2 hours of being up. I'm not getting to bed until 11pm-midnight and than am waking up around 4:30-5:30am (for a 2 hour feeding session and than Maddox wakes up).

She spits up and it comes out her mouth and nose and so she is constantly stuffed up and snoring, squeaky, and wheezy. She wriggles and cries like she is in pain. She wants to nurse, but she whimpers and whines and as soon as my milk lets down she is off the breast, but immediately wanting to be back on (and repeat). I do not have an overactive letdown (like I did with Maddox), so I know that really isn't the issue.

I was told that her spitting up and swallowing it back down was because of her quick birth, but it's been 3 and a half weeks and it shouldn't continue to go and get worse if it is from her birth. They say to reduce spitting up in babies to keep them up right for 15-30 minutes after a feeding, but we are needing to keep her up for an hour or more or she will spit up, cough, and gag. She also coughs and gags during feedings. I was told not to worry about it if she is gaining weight fine, but Maddox had GERD till he was a year old and gained weight just fine, he was just horribly uncomfortable.

I don't know whether or not we should make an appointment for her.

Update and Pictures

No Jaundice. Her worst day was the Saturday after she was born and it is now completely gone. She sleeps much better than Maddox ever did and hopefully she'll keep that up. She was easy to get to bed, but she is getting difficult. She's very fussy sometimes - especially in the evening and before bedtime. Pretty much nothing but a boob calms her down and she gets upset with that too because she'll want to comfort suck but doesn't want any of the milk. She needs a pacifier but I refuse to give her one yet. Her latch is sometimes good and mostly horrible. It is getting better, but I feel like everytime I say that, it gets two times worse. My boobs burn and my nipples are bloody. I know everyone wants to know, but it's my journal LOL

Faye Update and Pictures

No Jaundice. Her worst day was the Saturday after she was born and it is now completely gone. She sleeps much better than Maddox ever did and hopefully she'll keep that up. She was easy to get to bed, but she is getting difficult. She's very fussy sometimes - especially in the evening and before bedtime. Pretty much nothing but a boob calms her down and she gets upset with that too because she'll want to comfort suck but doesn't want any of the milk. She needs a pacifier but I refuse to give her one yet. Her latch is sometimes good and mostly horrible. It is getting better, but I feel like everytime I say that, it gets two times worse. My boobs burn and my nipples are bloody. I know everyone wants to know, but it's my journal LOL

I feel like I am incapable of being a mother of two. Emotionally, it is really hard for me. I feel like I cannot be Maddox's mother when Faye is away and I am holding her. I feel guilty that I want to lay Faye down to be by herself so that I can be with my son for awhile and TRY to have the relationship with him that I had before she was born. I haven't been able to discipline him without going into another room and crying afterwards. I haven't been able to go into his room and read him books for bedtime or nap time and look at all the pictures of Maddox and Mommy playing together without crying. I love both of them more than anything, but I feel so sad that I haven't been able to enjoy Maddox the way I used to. Besides one issue with the golf clubs, today was a much better day with him. I wore Faye for most of the day and was able to play with Maddox a lot.

She's Here!

Faelyn Audrey
June 10, 2008
7 pounds & 19¾ inches

Monday morning (6.9.2008) I had my 40 week appointment at 9:45am. Kathrine stripped my membranes (probably around 10:15am or so - we got to the appointment a bit late). I had been having menstrual-y backache for the past two days so I was hoping that labor was already trying to slowly start. Maddox and I went over to my mother's house for the day and I was really crampy and losing small amounts of my mucus plug. I didn't feel as icky as I felt the first time (5.29.2008) Kathrine stripped my membranes, but definitely a lot more than the second time (6.2.2008). Clayton picked us up later and I slept fine Monday night.

Tuesday morning I was still crampy and Faye was moving all over the place. She had flipped into some weird positions over the night. When I woke up, she was very long vertically on my right side and late on, she dropped back down to belly button level but something had risen up into my left rib. It felt like she back was along the top of my uterus.

Maddox and I hung out all day, played, etc. I was having "contractions", but just the like ones that I had on 5.29 and 5.30. They weren't very strong, were only in my back and pelvic area and were very irregular. As the day went on they got more intense, but no more regular, no increase in the length of time they lasted, just started to be a little painful. Maddox and I baked cookies (I asked him if he wanted to take a walk or bake cookies - silly questions!) In the evening I went online and looked up stripping membranes and irregular contractions and from what I read, a lot of people reported having intense, irregular contractions for hours after having their membranes swept. I was assuming that maybe that is just what happened when you had your membranes swept and my internet search concluded.

Clayton and I watched the second half of The 40 Year Old Virgin on TV and than I decided I was going to go to bed because I was having "contractions" very frequently and they were kind of hurting. Still they were just in my pelvic area (nothing above my pantyline) and back, and very irregular. I'd get one when I went to the bathroom, when I would move positions, etc. so it seemed as though I was causing myself to have them vs. my body being in labor and spontaneously having them.

We both went to bed around 10-10:15pm and around 10:30pm my water broke! I was completely shocked and called my midwife to see what she thought. I told her that the contractions that I've had all day had been all over the place - any where from every 4 minutes to every 15 minutes but never the same distance apart in a row, where I was getting them, etc. She suggested I try to go to bed and asked if I thought a hot shower would help. I didn't want to take a shower, not long before putting Maddox to bed I had taken a bath. I said I could probably get to bed and tried to lay back down but the contractions got more painful.

Around 11pm the contractions were very close together and almost unbearable. I was completely freaked out that I was not going to be able to handle labor this time around. I was thinking if my contractions hurt this much right now, how would they feel when I was in transition labor. I was freezing cold when I didn't have a contractions and sweating while I was having a contraction. I had 2-3 more and had to go to the bathroom. The end of this pregnancy had completely constipated me, so I really needed to go (you're welcome for the TMI). I had another contraction after that and then felt like I was going to vomit.

I hung over a bucket swallowing the hot water that my cheeks were spilling (a sure sign of puking for me), but I never puked. While I sat there I told Clayton that if I felt like I was going to puke, we needed to go to the hospital. He got all our stuff together, but the next contraction that I got I *kind of* felt like I had the urge to push, but it wasn't too bad - not like when I had the urge with Maddox. I couldn't move while having a contraction and the next one that I got was only about 30 seconds after. I had 2 contractions where I felt like I had the urge to push and I had Clayton call Kathrine and tell her that my contractions were almost on top of each other and that it felt like I had to push. I was on all fours next to the bed and had Clayton put down a towel under me *just in case*. Kathrine asked if we were going to come to the hospital now and I couldn't think very well. I said I didn't know - mostly I didn't know if we would actually make it there. I thought "it's only 10 minutes away" and said we would be leaving right away and would be there in about 15 minutes. Kathrine said she's meet us there.

I had another contraction and then another almost immediately after and then finally managed to stand up after that. I walked to the bathroom because I felt like I had to go poop again, but not like I was getting the urge to push at all and I wasn't having a contractions. I got to the bathroom and sat down and as soon as I did, I got a contraction and the urge to push was fierce. I yelled for Clayton to come in and said that I had to push and I couldn't stop it. I felt like she was coming out, Clayton said he could see her head, and I put my hand down there to feel and felt something really soft and squishy. I thought her umbilical cord was hanging out and felt a bit panicked. I looked down and saw that the squishy was NOT the color of an umbilical cord, it was almost black and was a bag of something. She kept on coming out and I stood up so that she wouldn't drop into the toilet. We were both looking at her come out and realized that her head didn't look like her head and that it was a butt! Her butt came out and her feet came out and Clayton grabbed her around her waist. I watched her back slide down and her shoulder blades were arching back and that it when it REALLY hit me that she was indeed breech.

She came out up to her arm pits and then I pushed like hell - not wanting her head or shoulders to get stuck up. Her arms popped out and her head came out pretty easily. Clayton grabbed me a towel and I wrapped her up and rubbed her down. I had him grab me the nasal aspirator and suctioned her out and sent him to go all 911. She didn't cry too much. She whimpered and squeaked and her breathing was good. She was pink, except her hands and feet and was warm. Her nose sounded like there was mucus in it. Everything that came out of her throat and nose with the nasal aspirator was clear, but I was still nervous that she wasn't suctioned out good enough. I rubbed her back really good with the towel again. Clayton his mom call 911 and she came down and was telling me everything the dispatcher said to do and I had already done it. The dispatcher said to just sit tight and wait for the paramedics than. While we were waiting, Maddox woke up and we asked if he wanted to come in and meet his baby sister. When he walked into the bathroom, his entire face was lit. Eyes huge, big smile on his face with his tongue hanging out (lol). He said she was cute!

It only took about 5 minutes for them to get there. The guy asked me in a very condescending tone "did you plan to have a home birth?" He clamped the umbilical cord and cut it with a little plastic scalpel and we wrapped her up in a few more towels. They took her and she was perfect. Apgar of 9. They put her on a warming pack and Clayton brought her upstairs. I had to tuck everything (umbilical cord and yuck) into my pants and walk upstairs. I don't remember anyone asking if I needed help or anything, but I've been made fun of several times for just getting up and walking up the stairs and getting on the gurney on my own. I had no thoughts of it at all and tried to grab Faye's diaper bag too, but one of the paramedics insisted she carry that instead.

Faye and I rode in the ambulance to the hospital and Clayton followed us in the SUV. My mother-in-law and father-in-law brought Maddox in their car. I got to nurse Faye in the ambulance on the way there. She was rooting like crazy and I had wanted to have her on my chest and nurse as soon as possible if she had been born in the hospital, so I took the opportunity to do it then.

We got to the hospital and my midwife was waiting there. We joked around a little, I apologized to Kathrine that she didn't get to deliver Faye, but she said she was so happy that I had her at home because they would have taken me in for an emergency c-section. They checked out Faye, Kathrine delivered my placenta, and I got a shot of pitocin in my arm after to keep my uterus contracting. After that, we mostly went through a lot of questions (allergies, addresses, names, etc) to get me registered, etc.

Maddox was very excited. They had Clayton cut the rest of her cord off and someone (I think it was my father-in-law) held Maddox up to watch. He was telling the nurses, etc that it was going to turn a different color and fall off in the bath. Maybe it won't actually fall off in the bath, but they were all very impressed with his knowledge of babies. He thought she was "sooo cute" and was telling everyone that she was his baby, etc.

We stayed in the labor and delivery room for almost 2 hours and I got to nurse her again. Kathrine, my midwife, helped me with positioning this time. We did fine in the ambulance, but I figured with all the issues I had with Maddox, I better have her show me. Then finally were able to move to a postpartum room after that. My in laws left shortly after that and then my mom and sister took Maddox to my sister's house to play with his cousins (who were all sleeping because it was close to 3AM by the time they left). Apparently he managed to talk them into stopping at McDonald's on the way and got some chicken nuggets and fries LOL.

Faye slept really well the first night. From 3AM to 6AM. I was a bit miserable because I was starving and breakfast wasn't until 7:10am.

Maddox came back to the hospital around noon-ish. He was very excited. He brought his "baby sister Faye" a balloon and wanted to hold her all the time. The first time he held her that day, he lifted her up in his arms and said "ooooh she's big!" After several times of "can I hold my baby sister?" and then giving her up for a little big shortly after, he decided that he didn't need to ask any more and just started grabbing towards her while chatting away to everyone else in the room. He was pretty entertaining. He's been at my sister's house since Wednesday morning (you know.. 3AM) and I miss him a ton.

Faye has been a little boobie monster. We are just starting to be able to get a good latch down, so I'm quite sore. She likes to use me as a pacifier. She's looking a bit jaundice and I'm sure that has a lot to do with the -falling asleep as soon as she is on the breast- bit, but other wise, nursing is starting to go really well. She didn't start out as much of a crier, but she's getting the hang of it. She gets very upset about not being on the breast, she detests diaper changes, and isn't too keen on sleeping by herself.

She is beautiful and I am completely in love!

She's Due...

But she just doesn't want to come out!

Yesterday was my 40 week appointment (39 Weeks & 6 Days). It was great fun. I cried the whole time. Bad Morning + Dumb Comment + Almost 40 Weeks Pregnant = Crazy, Emotional Pregnant Woman.

No progress in dilation. Cervix has thinned out, bag of water was protruding. Don't know what BP was. It was pretty high because of my emotions but I forgot to have the doctor check it again and chances are, it still wouldn't be very reliable. I cried a little more at home. Stripped my membranes again and was crampy, etc instantly. No contractions or anything though. She feels like she's trying to press out, but there is nothing to accompany the feeling. Some lower abdominal pains that feel like contractions, but I think they are just SUPER intense Braxton Hicks because they are only in my back and lower abdomen and do not go through the rest of my belly.

Here is my giant belly

Come Out!

I am officially miserable! Well, I should say that two nights ago I was officially miserable. And this kid is so dang big. I also just realized (or remembered) that my grandparent-in-laws are coming on the 19th and I really fear that I won't have this kid by then. I DO NOT want to come home with her for the first time while they are here, nor do I want to go into labor and have to deal with them while I am laboring. That would be great fun. Like the last time they were over and I was sitting on Maddox's step stool in the bathroom, hanging over the toilet, throwing up and Pauli is standing in the doorway trying to hold a conversation with me.... So unless I have her next Sunday or Monday (15th or 16th), next week is NOT a good time to have a baby. However, with the way things have been going, I'm sure I will go into labor the day they get here AND they'll stay until I bring her home from the hospital. Why wouldn't that happen? Girls are evil. I think she is trying to torture me. I've done nothing to her so far, why does she have to be so mean?!

Her Blankey

Finally finished! It's super wrinkly because Maddox was playing with it.

You Can't Go Home Without Granola Bars

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

39 Weeks Tomorrow

My 39 week appointment was scheduled for Wednesday morning, but I called and got an appointment for today at 11:45AM that my mother took me to.

My midwife swept my membranes again. I had a horrible backache earlier today and have had some pretty intense pressure on and off, but nothing like I had last Thursday. She got blood when she stripped me and said that was a good sign, but it doesn't look like anything is going to happen. My BP was 142/60. I have an enormous amount of swelling in my hands and had an enormous amount in my feet and ankles. The feet and ankle swelling went down, but they are still pretty darn chubby. Obvious swelling.

Really nothing else to update. Wish this little baby would make her appearance.