Faye Update and Pictures

No Jaundice. Her worst day was the Saturday after she was born and it is now completely gone. She sleeps much better than Maddox ever did and hopefully she'll keep that up. She was easy to get to bed, but she is getting difficult. She's very fussy sometimes - especially in the evening and before bedtime. Pretty much nothing but a boob calms her down and she gets upset with that too because she'll want to comfort suck but doesn't want any of the milk. She needs a pacifier but I refuse to give her one yet. Her latch is sometimes good and mostly horrible. It is getting better, but I feel like everytime I say that, it gets two times worse. My boobs burn and my nipples are bloody. I know everyone wants to know, but it's my journal LOL

I feel like I am incapable of being a mother of two. Emotionally, it is really hard for me. I feel like I cannot be Maddox's mother when Faye is away and I am holding her. I feel guilty that I want to lay Faye down to be by herself so that I can be with my son for awhile and TRY to have the relationship with him that I had before she was born. I haven't been able to discipline him without going into another room and crying afterwards. I haven't been able to go into his room and read him books for bedtime or nap time and look at all the pictures of Maddox and Mommy playing together without crying. I love both of them more than anything, but I feel so sad that I haven't been able to enjoy Maddox the way I used to. Besides one issue with the golf clubs, today was a much better day with him. I wore Faye for most of the day and was able to play with Maddox a lot.